Paradise by The Dashboard Light, Analyzed

Over the coming weeks I will analyze Meatloaf's astonishing, brilliant Paradise by the Dashoard Light (written by Jim Steinman) for it's political/sexual imagery. The following is the first portion of my endeavor.

Here is the first verse:

Baby we can talk all night
But that aint getting us nowhere

The politics of abortion were first and foremost in the minds of Jim Steinman and Meatloaf in the writing and interpretation of this melody. This line is about the discourse between pro-abortionists and anti-abortionists, as well as that between a pro-abortion mother and her unborn child. It is saying, "enough of this talk! It accomplishes nothing!" as well as, to the infant: "I am going to fucking kill you!" Steinman and Meatloaf do not fuck around with words, as will be seen over the coming posts.

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Landlord sentenced for spying on tenants - Yahoo! News

Landlord sentenced for spying on tenants - Yahoo! News:

ONEIDA, N.Y. - A central New York man was sentenced Thursday for installing hidden cameras in his tenants' apartments so he could spy on them while they had sex.

Patrick Kaiser, 49, of Oneida, was sentenced to two to six years in state prison. He was convicted in December of four felony counts of unlawful surveillance.

I will bet that every single landlord in the USA has had the idea of putting cameras into the bedrooms of their tenants. Landlords tend to be perverted lonely jerkoffs so no matter how they present themselves they usually have child or bestiality porn hidden in the closet. Check the backgrounds of your community child-molesters and you will find that they either are, or have been landlords.

There is something about the power of the position that leads men and women to peculiar lusts and a range of sexual perversions. If real life were like Law & Order: CSI, I would be able to point to a specific suspect and immediately point out the path of his proclivities, from early days peeping in windows to latter days installing a high-tech surveillance system in his Manhattan high-rise.

Furhtermore, the nature of the landlord/pervert has been riding the waves of our cultural subconscious for a long-time. Remember how Mr Roper (expertly played by Don Knotts) used to pop in on Jack and Janet in Three's Company? Well, secretly he wanted to see them naked and cavorting, and he wanted them to ask him to watch.


Technorati tags: sex, rape, video, videos, landlords, landlady, tenant, voyeur, erotica

Woman sentenced to 4 years for torching boyfriend's penis

Woman sentenced to 4 years for torching boyfriend's penis:

A Montreal woman who poured fondue fuel over her sleeping boyfriend and lit his penis on fire has been sentenced to four years in prison.

Quebec Judge Louis Legault sentenced Andre Ren, 44, to 30 more months in prison, crediting her with 18 months for the time she has already served.

Ren must also undergo psychological counselling for alcohol abuse and aggression while she's in prison, and is prohibited from owning guns or combustible materials for 10 years after being released.

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Stephen Hawking, Former Gangbanger

Early Years
Back when I used to know him he was the baddest motherfucker out of Inglewood. Mac-20, as we used to call him (he carried 2 Mac-10s on his person at all times), had taken out more than 45 niggaz in a crack and marijuana filled haze that ran from his teenaged years in lock-up to his parole from in 1978. In prison he was known as a baddass, raping as many as 9 men in one afternoon at Folsom. In being placed in a cell with him, new inmates were given a gallon of Vaseline and asked is they had AIDS, the smart recruits said yes, those became experts in fellatio instead of being anally violated.

It was Hawking who came up with the Bloods-Symbol, which is really the summary of an early convoluted thesis on quantum gravity.

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To you, Oprah

Oh Oprah, I love you so, you are a credit to your race! The best black thing to enter my life since my Audi A4. I live the way you enrich people's lives by giving them free shit! I love the way you talk about Toni Morrison's books like you actually have the brains to read them! I love the way you get your audience to buy books that they will never in a million years be able to grasp (even if doctors find a way to reverse lobotomies!)! Most of all I love the fact that you became insanely rich by becoming a token of minority success! That gives me hope!

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Diane Sawyer/Bob Woodward

So I was watching that Diane sawyer piece on Bob Woodward this morning and it occurred to me (unlike the rest of you, apparently) that this is not journalism. This is one white preppy journalist, empathizing with, attempting to evoke empathy for, another white preppy journalist. Probably because she can't feel real empathy for the working-class soldiers coming home disfigured and disabled. Is Mr Colgate-educated Woodward getting his ass blown up and lobotomized supposed to be more significant to me than say an ordinary soldier? How about the camera man (camera-men are usually not Ivy Leaguers) who also got his ass blown up? There was the whole irrelevant nonsense about how Woodward proposed to his wife after a mountain-climbing trip. Who gives a fuck? If he is dumb enough to take unnecessary risks for the sake of an adrenaline rush, he probably deserved a closed-casket funeral.

The whole segment was directed at the rich folk who believe that any kind of real job (like journalism, for instance) is really an act of charity for the rest of us. Look at what Bob has sacrificed for the poor!

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Vin Diesel

Fucking Vin Diesel. That wooden, slackjawed pretentious dimwit. Fucking social-climbing, ambitious, no-talent airhead. I hate you and those fat chicks on myspace who have your pics in their profiles. Like you would ever want them! You like the dick, don't you? I bet you like the dick. I hate you like I hate Charlie Sheen and every Hollywood brat who made their money on Daddy's last name. Speaking of names, even your stage-name is a punch-drunk jock's idea of cool.

Super-villain Club: Yasser Arafat

Arafat was born in Cairo[3] to Palestinian parents on August 24, 1929. Arafat's father was a textile merchant and a Palestinian with some Egyptian ancestry. Arafat's mother was from an old Palestinian family in Jerusalem. She died when Yasir, as he was called, was five years old, and he was sent to live with his maternal uncle in Jerusalem, the capital of the British Mandate of Palestine. He has revealed little about his childhood, but one of his earliest memories is of British soldiers breaking into his uncle's house after midnight, beating members of the family and smashing furniture.[4]

What kind of origin is this for a super-villain? Broken furniture and and beaten extended family member? Furthermore, is this the worst that the British Empire could come up with?

For you young people, before the greatest villain of all time showed up the ugly bastard up to was the best we could do for a global all-purpose baddie. He had the ugly, he had the gloat and we couldn't kill him easily. Also, he could kind of speak English a little bit which made him all the more menacing (bad guys are so much more effective with accents). You see, the Shah of Iran at the time (Khomeini) couldn't speak English, nor could Noriega or subsequent pretender to the Fu Manchu throne, this put them at a disadvantage. If they can't speak English who gives a fuck what they are cackling about to their cronies in their dark dungeon lairs?

Back to Arafat. The world needs its bad guys, it needs them with faces that we have pictures and video images of, with ugly-ass ethnic faces, preferably. It needs them with non-Christian religions, and in uniforms that don't look a lot like ours. It needs them to speak in languages that are difficult for native English-speakers to learn, and to do stupid shit like burn effigies or have their followers do them. They also have to relatively far away from anybody civilized, that way they can be scary without actually causing panic among god-fearing white people. Yup, that Hitler guy kind of screwed things up for the supervillain club. Everything changed because of him.

Technorati Tags: history, yasser, arafat, humor, palestine, palestinian