Tips for improving family life:
1. Do not have children.
Children are financial and emotional dead-weight at least till 18, where, if they hate you, they might leave, otherwise they will continue to be dead weight at least for another ten years.
2. Get more than one job.
That way you and the wife don't see each other much. This makes the sex better, gets you more money, and gets you appreciate the comforts of home.
3. Drink and actively protest for the legalization of marijuana.
Assuming you fall into the trap of breeding, nothing makes it tolerable like alcohol and other life-enhancing chemicals.
Technorati Tags: family, life, marriage, children, parenthood, kids, weed, marijuana
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Saturday, May 5, 2007
Last Words on Qumana
Cumbersome, memory-hogging, unnecessary crapware. It does nothing to actually help you with the mechanics of blogging, and has only one feature that the others don't have: Adgenta AKA Q-ads. Q-ads is an affiliate program that you can join via Qumana, but don't bother, 10 months and over 40,000 hits after inserting Q-ads I a) have yet to earn my 2nd dollar, and b) have yet to come across anybody else running Q-ads (I admit this should have clued me in). I admit, Q-ads does look attractive at first, you get neat, minimalist Adwords-like text boxes, they are pay-per-click, and you get to insert them into the actual blog post. Inspite of all that I say to you, reader, fuck that shit. Q-ads has maybe 3 real advertisers and none of them are for things that anybody in their right mind would click on.
Washington Donkey Punches Iself
Seriously, what does is matter if they went to a whorehouse. What should be of interest is the kind services they received. Who gave a donkey punch, who wanted to be pegged, who wanted to be diapered and breastfed. Sex with a whore, provided it's regular, vaginal sex is hardly anything new. The moral lapse there is conventional, like the moral lapses of sailors on shore-leave or salesmen in Las Vegas. Who wants to hear about some old man having missionary position sex with anybody? Even if he is a right-wing conservo-churchist and she is black transexual with a reversible penis. I cannot imagine sex-scandals being big news anywhere anymore, even in red states, not since everybody got porn superstores in their home. Seriously, even in Pat Robertson's home you are two clicks away from mindlessly splayed vulva, how seriously is anybody going to take two adults having consenting relations?
All of this is a symptom of too little real news in the offing, the print media going back to the old well.
All of this is a symptom of too little real news in the offing, the print media going back to the old well.
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Phil Stacey: skinny bald non-singer
Phil Stacey didn't exactly butcher Bon Jovi's song, but he sang it the way any ordinary Bon Jovi fan would: with complete reverence. He own words said it all, he used to sing it to the mirror with a comb in his hand. That's what he is, a shower singer with delusions of grandeur. People want these amateurs to succeed because they like them, not because they are good singers. Much like the reason Britney Spears succeeded (because she had a nice ass and nobody knew what her vulva looked like back then). Anyway, he got voted off, and unlike the Queen Latifah/Condoleezza Rice masturbation debacle, I will not lose any sleep over him getting voted off. Let's hope he returns to obscurity and stays there.
Condoleezza Rice, Queen Latifah, and Sex
Condoleezza Rice is one of those women who would have been a school-teacher in another life.One of those women who would not marry until they were pursued by some old man in their church long after they were able to have children. Certain black women put off vibes sexlessness, unattractiveness that has nothing to do with their appearance or their heterosexuality. Queen Latifah, is one of them. Any man who says that he thinks either Latifah or Condoleezza is the kind of man who would likely have sex with any anatomically correct female, just to have sex. I question whether or not Latifah or Condoleezza have sexual urges and it has begun to keep me up at nights. I seriously cannot imagine either one of them masturbating. Someone else who I cannot imagine masturbating is former LA Lakers power-forward AC Green., He is the male version of libido-less black American person.
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