Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Neatorama � Blog Archive � 10 Most Magnificent Trees in the World.

Neatorama � Blog Archive � 10 Most Magnificent Trees in the World.:




I like trees. They are very green and they help people all the time. Sometimes trees like to save people's lives as part of their service to humanity. They are friendly and stalwart, like grandfathers. Trees are the grandfathers of humanity. Trees love you like a little grandchild cradled in old arthritic arms. LOVE THEM BACK!!!!!

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Saturday, March 3, 2007

Paradise by The Dashboard Light, Analyzed

Over the coming weeks I will analyze Meatloaf's astonishing, brilliant Paradise by the Dashoard Light (written by Jim Steinman) for it's political/sexual imagery. The following is the first portion of my endeavor.

Here is the first verse:

Baby we can talk all night
But that aint getting us nowhere

The politics of abortion were first and foremost in the minds of Jim Steinman and Meatloaf in the writing and interpretation of this melody. This line is about the discourse between pro-abortionists and anti-abortionists, as well as that between a pro-abortion mother and her unborn child. It is saying, "enough of this talk! It accomplishes nothing!" as well as, to the infant: "I am going to fucking kill you!" Steinman and Meatloaf do not fuck around with words, as will be seen over the coming posts.

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Friday, March 2, 2007

Japan PM Denies WWII Sex Slavery -- TIME

Japan PM Denies WWII Sex Slavery -- TIME:
"They cried out, but it didn't matter to us whether the women lived or died," Kaneko said in an interview with The Associated Press at his Tokyo home. "We were the emperor's soldiers. Whether in military brothels or in the villages, we raped without reluctance."

Historians say some 200,000 women—mostly from Korea and China—served in the Japanese military brothels throughout Asia in the 1930s and 1940s. Many victims say they were kidnapped and forced into sexual slavery by Japanese troops, and the top government spokesman acknowledged the wrongdoing in 1993.

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Landlord sentenced for spying on tenants - Yahoo! News

Landlord sentenced for spying on tenants - Yahoo! News:
ONEIDA, N.Y. - A central New York man was sentenced Thursday for installing hidden cameras in his tenants' apartments so he could spy on them while they had sex.

Patrick Kaiser, 49, of Oneida, was sentenced to two to six years in state prison. He was convicted in December of four felony counts of unlawful surveillance.

I will bet that every single landlord in the USA has had the idea of putting cameras into the bedrooms of their tenants. Landlords tend to be perverted lonely jerkoffs so no matter how they present themselves they usually have child or bestiality porn hidden in the closet. Check the backgrounds of your community child-molesters and you will find that they either are, or have been landlords.

There is something about the power of the position that leads men and women to peculiar lusts and a range of sexual perversions. If real life were like Law & Order: CSI, I would be able to point to a specific suspect and immediately point out the path of his proclivities, from early days peeping in windows to latter days installing a high-tech surveillance system in his Manhattan high-rise.

Furhtermore, the nature of the landlord/pervert has been riding the waves of our cultural subconscious for a long-time. Remember how Mr Roper (expertly played by Don Knotts) used to pop in on Jack and Janet in Three's Company? Well, secretly he wanted to see them naked and cavorting, and he wanted them to ask him to watch.


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Woman sentenced to 4 years for torching boyfriend's penis

Woman sentenced to 4 years for torching boyfriend's penis:
A Montreal woman who poured fondue fuel over her sleeping boyfriend and lit his penis on fire has been sentenced to four years in prison.

Quebec Judge Louis Legault sentenced Andre Ren, 44, to 30 more months in prison, crediting her with 18 months for the time she has already served.

Ren must also undergo psychological counselling for alcohol abuse and aggression while she's in prison, and is prohibited from owning guns or combustible materials for 10 years after being released.
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Geico is Coming, Billy Ray

All the shit Geico doesn't tell you. I guarantee you that no matter where you live you can find insurance not only cheaper but without the

massive rate increases on renewal

. The heavy-handed advertising is meant for the not-too-bright, and I am sure that it succeeds as they wouldn't be able to afford Little Richard or the midget. This is the kind of style-over-substance shit that America has a problem with. America is addicted to glossy wrappers with nothing much inside. Geico knows this. Geico is determined to part fools from their money using lizards and midgets, they have their telescopic sights set on trailer parks and those who may once have lived in them.

I find nothing even remotely cute or attractive about the Geico lizard. I think it is kind of an asshole, in fact, in the sense that cockney speakers tend, to a great extent, to be assholes. I find it repulsive, smug, and too cartoonish to be intended for adults outside of their test-group, which was probably made up of weed-smokers. I also think the caveman thing might be slightly racist as well but I have think about it some more. I have a hard time believing that anybody would choose Geico for any reason other than they are "on TV a lot" and "seem to be doing well for themselves". In other words, anybody in their right mind would have a problem with Geico for exactly that reason. I don't want my insurance company rich, I want them fucking pauperized and operating out of a trailer that I have to drive by 15 rebel flags to get to. I want them broke and vulnerable and afraid of me, like my women. They need to know that they have to put out. What the fuck does a lizard have to do with insurance?

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Thursday, March 1, 2007

The Autobiography of Malcolm X

X was a product of the FBI, recruited andworking for New Haven Railroad, he was supposed to mobilize (and thus identify) black men with the inclination to become violent and destabilize a fragile American society. It was thought that Soviet forces were afoot in America attempting to create racial unrest, so it was decided that the best course of action was to locate and poison their fields. In the process of doing this, the FBI created a cult (Elijah Mohammed being another FBI field-agent, used to set up Malcolm X's infrastructure, namely, The Nation of Islam). This was done carefully, after selecting a religion that was, in those days, relatively unknown and exotic. It was also thought that the darker skin of foreign mmuslims might instantly spark a kind of identification among the black populace. It is entirely possible that Malcolm X played a key role in the assassinations of both John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King, possibly also that of Ronald Reagan. The jury is still out on whether X had anything to do with selling hallucinogens to the Manson Family and motivating them to kill then presidential mistress, Sharon Tate.

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Stephen Hawking, Former Gangbanger

Early Years
Back when I used to know him he was the baddest motherfucker out of Inglewood. Mac-20, as we used to call him (he carried 2 Mac-10s on his person at all times), had taken out more than 45 niggaz in a crack and marijuana filled haze that ran from his teenaged years in lock-up to his parole from in 1978. In prison he was known as a baddass, raping as many as 9 men in one afternoon at Folsom. In being placed in a cell with him, new inmates were given a gallon of Vaseline and asked is they had AIDS, the smart recruits said yes, those became experts in fellatio instead of being anally violated.

It was Hawking who came up with the Bloods-Symbol, which is really the summary of an early convoluted thesis on quantum gravity.

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Uncle Seamus's Sex Advice: Necrophilia

Dear Uncle Seamus I have a friend who wants to experiment with (heterosexual) necrophilia, I would like to get him a body for his birthday, where do I look? I realize that there might might be some legal problems here, but I don't see there being a moral one. If there person is dead, then they are no longer a human being, hence there not being the problem of fornication (a sin committed between living people) and since the person is dead, no problem of inconvenience or discomfort to them either. As for the bereaved family or whatever, what they don't know won't hurt them right?

Well, young man, I applaud your cunning end-run around conventional morality, and will endeavor to assist you in any way I can. I suggest getting employment at a mortuary since sex with the dead is relatively commonplace in such places. It is well-known that corpses can get erections, and keep them even after death (the penis outflow valves close after death or something like that), and that mortuary workers routinely fight over who gets to “work on” newly-dead hotties. In fact, you can be certain that Anna Nicole Smith is getting the embalming fluid fucked out of her as we speak. There's one for your fantasies. Good luck in fulfilling your dreams!

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