Uncle Seamus's Sex Advice: Necrophilia

Dear Uncle Seamus I have a friend who wants to experiment with (heterosexual) necrophilia, I would like to get him a body for his birthday, where do I look? I realize that there might might be some legal problems here, but I don't see there being a moral one. If there person is dead, then they are no longer a human being, hence there not being the problem of fornication (a sin committed between living people) and since the person is dead, no problem of inconvenience or discomfort to them either. As for the bereaved family or whatever, what they don't know won't hurt them right?

Well, young man, I applaud your cunning end-run around conventional morality, and will endeavor to assist you in any way I can. I suggest getting employment at a mortuary since sex with the dead is relatively commonplace in such places. It is well-known that corpses can get erections, and keep them even after death (the penis outflow valves close after death or something like that), and that mortuary workers routinely fight over who gets to “work on” newly-dead hotties. In fact, you can be certain that Anna Nicole Smith is getting the embalming fluid fucked out of her as we speak. There's one for your fantasies. Good luck in fulfilling your dreams!

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